This last weekend was sad. Dearest Elaine, my cousins real grandmother, and my "adopted" grandmother, passed away on Saturday, the 15th of September. Only in her 70's, she was quite young, but she had so many health problems it's a relief she's not suffering anymore. Her passing is made much more bearable by the fact that Grom, as we liked to call her, loved Jesus so much, there is now no doubt where her eternal soul came to rest--in the bosom of her beloved Savior. Grom, you will be missed.
But that wasn't the only thing that made the weekend sad. At least, not for me.
To start off, you should know that this month Jon and I are trying the Sperm Meets Egg Plan.
Sunday night I made a big decision, and was in mourning Monday. (Today I feel better about it, but it will still be difficult.) Sunday night I was praying to God. I told God that we would continue to try to get pregnant this month, but that if we didn't, I would take it as a sign that I need to lose weight first. Meaning that after this month of trying to get pregnant, if we are unsuccessful, attempting to achieve pregnancy will be put on the back burner for a while while I lose weight.
I have long been overweight and sick of it, but it's gotten to the point where I need to do something about it, not only for myself (eczema, embarrassed to be in public, feeling distinctly unattractive, etc) , but for my husband and future children as well. Hence, we will be starting the GAPS intro diet in October (if I don't get pregnant this month). The goal of this diet is to cleanse out our innards; to heal our bodies; to gain health; and for me, to lose weight. Once we complete the intro diet, we will move on to the full GAPS diet, and go from there. I don't know how long it will take us to heal our bodies. But I am committed, despite the Holiday Season coming up, that I will do this, that I NEED to do this. And it's now or never.
SO. My plan is to lose at least 80 pounds, then wait 6 months, before we try to get pregnant after this month. I am anticipating that it will be at least 18 months, then, when we can start trying again. I am giving myself a year to lose the weight (that's only 1.5 lbs a week! Doesn't sound so bad, then! And I'm thinking I'll probably lose quite a bit right at first) and then I want to wait the 6 months after losing the weight to allow all the toxins to be flushed out of my body. (Note: if I lose more than 80 lbs, I wouldn't mind... wow, I'm fat! But that is ALL GOING TO CHANGE.)
This was a surprisingly easy decision to make on Sunday, but I was really depressed Monday, thinking that I will have to wait so very long for my dream of a family. But then I realized: I'm still working toward achieving that dream! I could sit here, over weight, trying (in vain, more than likely, as I believe my weight is what is hindering pregnancy) to get pregnant each month and then being depressed it doesn't happen, OR I can do something about it! It won't be easy, but I feel good about having a plan and knowing that this has so many AWESOME repercussions. Not only will I start to feel better about myself, but healing your gut helps with anxiety, depression, IBS, and moodiness (all of which we both suffer from) , as well as joint pain, eczema, food allergies and intolerance, and increasing energy levels. It can also minimize the symptoms of autoimmune diseases (which Jon has not been diagnosed with, but his mother has, and he has many of the same symptoms as she does).
I am not looking forward to going grain free, dairy free, and refined sugar free, but I know this is what I need to do. I doubt it will be permanent. I like my rice and bread, my cheese, and cookies, cake, cupcakes, cheesecake, brownies, pies, and bars way way WAY too much. But for now, that's where we are. I will do updates weekly on how I'm doing weight-wise (we weigh ourselves Sunday morning, so it will probably Sunday that I update) .
I AM USING THIS BLOG AS MY ACCOUNTABILITY.
Please pray for us.